


Size Up the Prize

by judisno



Series: When the Fairytale Ends [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alcohol, Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misunderstandings, Moral Dilemmas, Pre-Relationship, Self-Acceptance, Sexual Repression, Slow Build, Walk Into A Bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:32:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23238394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/judisno/pseuds/judisno
Summary: He meets Meliorn in a downworlder bar. Curiosities are examined in moderation.(Takes place between Clary leaving the Institute and them reuniting. She stays put as in show canon and makes her return but they’re just friends who have a history in the next part if I ever turn this into a series.)it stirs up dust accumulated over years of mere neglect, over the ideas that none of them have time for such ideas, that true love is a luxury not all of them can afford, and that some are better off alone if they can't stick to tradition. sometimes, seeing someone else wipe off the cobwebs of their own mind's forbidden corners isn't enough for your own to come clean.
Relationships: Jace Wayland & Other(s), Meliorn/Jace Wayland, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: When the Fairytale Ends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1755913
Kudos: 3





	1. what could be tonight

**Author's Note:**

> March 2020: originally written and given up on five months ago.
> 
> Near end of April: I'm sorry I took so long to do the next chapter. It brewed in my brain for a long, long time. You can expect me to finish this within the next week though for sure.

Despite how much he’d groaned and complained, Jace didn’t entirely hate not being able to lie, not really, not to Meliorn or anyone else in particular. He just hadn’t enjoyed how nosy the seelie had been and how, in a way, he was being taken advantage of. He’d wanted to simply not answer, but his assigned partner had given him no choice by becoming increasingly annoying. Now, if tonight goes as he’s hoping, that may be overlooked.

At a seat in what is definitely not a mundane bar, he’s fueling up for some unfiltered honesty and in walks his invited companion. He’s enough buzzed to grin big and toothy the second he sees the other man, who makes a confused yet amused expression at him. With Clary out of his life, Maia taking a break from dating, Simon with Izzy, someone else he sees in this bar no longer interested, and him not wanting to bother his now happily married parabatai by hanging around too much, Jace has gotten pretty lonely. He could use a friend outside of the Institute, but certainly not a mundie. He’s looking for a friend he doesn’t have to _ hide anything _ from. He expresses these thoughts when Meliorn, after ordering something for himself, asks if this is a date. He makes a sound close to a snort, like something that’s almost there, but not all the way through.

“Hm, okay,” begins the answer, “not that I’m against the idea. Though, if this were a date, you’d already be off to a bad start.”

At that, he empties his currently held glass and sets it down, shaking his head at the bartender. No more refills. “Excuse me!?”

“Well, lets see, you ordered without me, didn’t offer to pay for me, _ had someone else ask me out for you… _ or are you offended by the implication that I’d go out with you?”

It surprises Jace to have to think seriously on the question. When Alec had come out, he hadn’t been 100% on board at first. He’d never admit it, of course, but he was a bit put off by it. Over time, those feelings had changed. He saw how happy Alec was with Magnus and had grown to openly be in support of them and others like them. 

What he hadn’t allowed into consideration (much) was himself. Now, presented with the inquiry of if he would actually be interested in going on a legitimate, not just sex, date with Meliorn or a man or a Downworlder _ or a male Downworlder, _ or if he was still uncomfortable with the suggestion entirely, if he couldn’t feel the same as he would turning down anyone outside of those categories, he has to re-examine his views again. He knows he shouldn’t be grossed out or even offended by being asked if he’s even an option, but is he?

Meliorn is quietly, miraculously patient, pretending the contents of the glass and the chipping wood on the counter are more interesting until Jace concludes, “No, I don’t have a problem with it,” and he empties his glass as well.

“In that case, should I have taken my rating differently?”

Jace had been foolish to expect the subject to change. “Take it however you want to. It’s not what I wanted to discuss with you.”

Getting the message, his new friend leans back to put some distance between them, smile fading, but doesn’t apologize. “What _ did _ you wish to discuss?”

When Jace wakes up the next day, thankfully in a bed and in one that is his own, the events after that point are a blur. Realizing so, he moves swiftly, determined to find out what he’s missing as soon as possible, then find a good time to talk to Alec.


	2. what is today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> much discussion

They’ve been living together long enough that it can be said this morning is a typical start to the day in the Lightwood-Bane home. They have a nice little house closer to where they do most things these days, but kept the apartment anyway since Magnus can easily teleport them. They only stay in their second home when they’re too tired to do even that. It’s quiet, peaceful, and smells like good food. And Alec feels something other than typical, but nothing appears to be out of place, so he decides to keep that to himself for now. He got the same feeling last night, but knew it didn’t have to do with anything they were doing. He figured Jace might be having a rough night and sent a quick text asking how he was doing, a pinch of guilt entering for not having any time to see him in person in the past week. He would’ve sent something to Izzy too after a half hour without answer, but he was simply too tired to wait. With it persisting into the hour of the sun rising, he tries again at the table, unable to hide concern on his face.

** do you want to talk today? **

Magnus watches curiously, head tilted resting on folded hands, leaning forward against the table. 

“What’s distracting you this ear-” _ ding _ “-ly?” 

Alec sighs with a momentary look up filled with total adoration before his eyes are turned back down. “It’s Jace. I haven’t had time to see him much recently and… y’know, we kinda have an extra sense. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s not this time. Maybe we just made a bad dinner choice and I’m having a weird reaction to it, but I doubt it.” 

Magnus laughs at that last part as Alec opens the reply. 

** YES. I was about to ask. When and where works for you? **

“Mind if I have him over today?” 

“Of course not. I won’t be here though, I have a busy day planned. Most of it can’t be done from home.” 

“Aw, okay. Are you gonna be back late?” 

“I don’t know yet. I’ll keep you informed. If I’m not here for dinner. I may pop in for a moment to retrieve you. As you know,” he smiles wider, “it looks good to have a partner with in some business situations.” 

“Ah. What kind of outfit should I have ready, just in case?” 

“I’ll let you know when I know!” 

With that and the last bite of an extra buttery waffle, he’s gone. Alec is alone with his thoughts until Jace arrives. They’re not easy thoughts, and they’re certainly not nice, but he has the whole morning free for whatever his mind decides to throw his way. Most days aren’t like this anymore. It’s harder to change than usual whenever it’s a shared feeling, but he hopes Jace choosing to talk it out this time will do the trick. He never did before, when it mattered the most on his end. He’s making an active choice not to sound bitter about it when he opens the door and greets him. 

“Hey, it’s about time, it’s great to see you. Did you get the text I sent last night?” 

Jace is apparently mapping out the room, eyes and face directed at everywhere but Alec despite already being familiar with the place. “Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I was drinking. I guess I either ignored it or it was after I got into bed, which I don’t really remember.” 

Alec takes a step back more sharply than intended at how plain and clear the admission is in the dull tone it’s in and motions for him to take a seat on the couch. “Oh. Okay... Well, what do you remember? At what point is it cut off?” 

Still not making eye contact, Jace sits, leaning forward, hands together, totally different feel to it than when Magnus did the same thing less than an hour before at their kitchen table. “Yeah, about that. I have a personal question for you. It has to do with the before part and why I’m trying not to freak out about not remembering anything after it right now.” 

He makes a short, throaty noise. 

“I’ll bring you a water and then you can ask it.” 

Moments later, passing off the full glass, Alec sits next to him. “Okay, go.” 

Jace takes a long sit before talking again. “How early did you know you weren’t straight? Like, even if you didn’t know the terms for that stuff yet, how young do you think you had it figured out?” 

Alec is thoroughly shocked that that is the question somehow related to what happened last night, but tries to remember some sort of first sign to offer up anyway. “Um, well… Maybe at around 10 or 11. Definitely knew when you came to live with us. How is it connected though?” 

Jace appears to relax at the shoulders, the haunted look leaving his eyes. “Nah, it’s… I don’t even know if it is. Could just be what I was drinking. It was something new. I don’t know. I mean, I think I’d know sooner if I swung both ways, or… No. No, this is pointless.” 

Alec can’t help the surprised exhale, almost a laugh. “Jace. Jace, look at me,” he waits for it, then continues, “we grew up in a pretty disapproving environment. On the rare occasion the topic came up, it was met negatively. It mostly was just avoided. No one wanted to talk about it and no one wanted to hear about it. You’ve had more free time to think about things since Clary, there have been a lot of big changes in the last year with our politics and people being generally more open about that sort of thing. I don’t think you should dismiss the possibility so fast. It is _ entirely _ possible you were just repressed. I’ve heard of people realizing it even later than our age!” 

When he’s done, Jace slowly looks back down at the floor, thinking for a minute. 

“It still doesn’t make sense to me. _ I _ grew up believing all those awful things we were told. It took me until a few months ago to totally get over it, _ or so I thought.” _

Alec makes the same concerned face as earlier. “Wait. Pause. Just a few months ago!?” He knows a little anger leaked into that and doesn’t really care anymore. He decides that if they’re gonna talk about this, then he’s going to let Jace know whatever thoughts or feelings pop up while they’re talking about it. This isn’t something they’re used to, but it’s important. It’s not easy, but it’s not supposed to be easy. 

“Yeah, I know. I still kinda feel like garbage for how I initially thought about you when the first wedding kiss happened. I acted supportive anyway because I knew you needed me to. I also knew it was a stupid way to be thinking and feeling, logically, but I guess you know how that is with other things.” 

Alec scoffs. “Sure, and with that too. Jace, _ I _ still felt bad for it when I did that, while wanting it to happen at the same time. Your support at that time was absolutely vital. I don’t want to know how I would’ve reacted if you’d done differently.” 

Jace’s eyes shut tightly now in realization that he struck a nerve before he keeps talking, “Okay, so, I got over it and didn’t really think about it or anything _ like _ it again until last night. Some thoughts kind of set back, some totally new as far as I can remember and _ completely contradictory. _ I’m not sure what that means. It felt like I was mentally arguing with myself and I can’t remember which side won, but now I just feel weird, like, genuinely confused, and I’m worried that something important happened that I don’t know about.” 

Alec leans back, thoughtful, almost comically opposing the other’s position. “Hm… Well, did you feel anything _ physically _ out of the ordinary when you woke up?” 

**“Nope.”**

“Jace, if you had sex with a man for the first time, regardless of who did what, I think you’d have felt it, especially since you were drunk, so you wouldn’t have been the most graceful. If you checked for bruises and found none, then I highly doubt that happened.” 

“Well, do you think it’s possible something less intense of the same nature happened?” 

“... Maybe. Were you meeting someone at the bar?” 

“Meliorn.” 

There’s a few beats of silence before Alec answers teasingly, “Meliorn? Really?” 

“Yes, really! I was trying to befriend him. We’ve only talked for work purposes, it’s been a lonely time, I thought it was a good idea to invite him out for a drink.” 

“Hold up. Izzy said she was doing the same thing yesterday.” 

“That’s because I asked her to ask for me.” 

** _ “Why?” _ **

“I don’t know! I don’t get shy, Alec, this is weird! I need someone to tell me what to do. I thought you would have helpful advice.” 

“Huh. Okay. Did you ask _ him _ what happened yet?” 

“No. I don’t know what to expect, but I know I was already pretty smashed when he got there, so honestly I was too embarrassed to talk to him first today.” 

“Uh-huh. I don’t have to be anywhere until noon. I can go with you.” 

“You'd do that?" 

“Of course. I could use a nice walk outside anyway." 

On the way to meet again, Jace fills him in more about the friendly meeting mistaken by the seelie for a date, on which his etiquette was poorly rated. Alec finds this greatly amusing. 

When Meliorn sees them approaching, he seems happy to, but a little confused. He can’t think of a reason one of them would have to be there, only knows he shares a special bond with the other, the one he was expecting to see again soon; perhaps not quite this soon, though he certainly isn’t complaining. 

There’s painfully awkward small-talk before Jace gets to the point of it. 

“So, about last night: I don’t remember a lot of it. Wanna tell me what happened, like, right after you told me how bad of a date I would’ve been?” 

Meliorn had been sipping something the other two assumed was tea. Some of it is spat in a direction they were both thankful wasn’t anywhere near their faces. He then deadpans, “Are you joking?" 

“No, I’m not -” 

“Because if you are, it’s not funny. I will not be tricked into describing an uncomfortable situation if I don't have to.” 

“I’m not joking, I promise, I really have no idea what happened!” 

Then he laughs at Jace. Alec is struggling to keep a neutral expression. Jace is visibly embarrassed, blushing, and would be mad if either one of them were to point it out. 

“Ugh, knock it off. Just tell me, _ please.” _

He quiets down, a stop, start-stop, start-stop, one last short start and then a full stop. 

“It’s not that funny.” 

“Nearly nothing happened last night." 

“Nearly?” 

Meliorn glances over at Alec. “Anything I have to say to you, I can say in front of him?” 

Jace nervously pulls at a loose string inside one of his pockets. “Anything.” 

“Jace, we didn’t stay at the bar very long. I told you I wasn’t a fan of the smell of the place and we walked out together. Upon arrival here, you _ tried _ to kiss me goodbye, but you tripped on something and missed. You would’ve face-planted on a tree if I hadn’t caught you. You looked disappointed, but didn’t say anything about it, just waved and walked off.” Leaving the story-telling tone, he ends his response more flirtatiously, “Now, if this means you’re interested in an actual first date, let me remind you I did say I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea.” 

Now both Alec and Meliorn are watching expectantly. 

“Do you… have a better place in mind that we could go to?” 

Alec smiles, pats him on the shoulder, and leaves with the sense he’s done his part. 


	3. what will be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll let my readers decide if this counts as a happy ending or not. opening slanted part revised from a note I wrote myself on 3/26.

_ “I didn’t feel anything when I shared shirts with Kyle. I’ve never overthought training with guys. I even once made a stupid comment about how kids can’t have two dads to Simon and then he told me about some picture book where one does. But I think I think I felt something new last night at the bar.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“As sure as I need to be.” _

** 1 month later, precisely 2 hours before Clary’s Sight returns **

“And really, Jace, booping my nose? I thought you wanted me to take this seriously,” Simon says when he’s approached in the entry room, more playfully than out of any true ire.

Jace walks to the door, not caring to look at him, “You’re too fun to mess with, Si.”

He’s already halfway to the road when he hears the door shut behind him, thinking, _ “... not to check up on her myself...” What makes checking up on me so irresistible then? _ and not looking back to see if he’s being followed.

_ “There is no one else.” _ It hadn’t worked out with Meliorn. They could get along well as friends, but the romantic aspect turned out to be too awkward. It lasted nearly three months before one of them admitted it was silly to think they could date like a normal couple. (Normal in their own ways of course, not in the human way.) Both found interesting the cultural differences between them in regards to love and sex and the discussion of such things, but eventually, it sank in that they had more fun talking than doing anything else. That’s not to say it was _ bad, _ they simply weren’t meant to be in that way no matter how attractive either thought the other was. For simplicity’s sake, they cut off the benefits when Jace began to need a friend more often, realizing he couldn’t just stop loving and thinking about Clary, wanting to go out and see how she was doing the longer they were apart.

** 1 hour before **

Wandering aimlessly in an attempt to calm down, having been mostly an emotional wreck all day, Jace stops to read something posted in the window of a restaurant that’s small, yet upscale in interior materials and furnishings. What catches his eye isn’t any of the paintings inside or their lavish frames and the similarly intricate table and chair legs and vibrant, velvet arms below them, nor is it the sparkling chandelier, but that there is a small paper tucked in one corner of the window, a woman’s orange, wavy hair with bangs the only illustration, no facial features included, only details for an art showing event later that very day. It’s for Clary.

_ I know I said I’d stop, but… just one more night. After this, I’m done, _ he decides.

** After **

“Don’t I know you? From somewhere?”

_ Things are going so well for her, I can’t ruin it now. _

“No, I do. You’re Jace, right?”  
_ Fuck it. _ “Yeah. Yeah, I… I’m Jace.”

She’s introducing herself again, friendlier than the first time and just as shamelessly curious. He realizes it’s too late to back out of actively knowing her again, but he can’t involve her in the Shadow World to the same extent as before, wants to keep her safe and happy as she is.

When she asks about the tattoos (runes) all she gets for an answer is that he’s not involved in anything illegal, but he really can’t say. It’s too personal.

“Have you ever painted something you thought was so beautiful you couldn’t keep it to yourself, but at the same time, had a meaning behind it you couldn’t bear to explain?”

She seems to understand, leaving the subject at that, remembering the first one she’d made after accepting that her mother wasn’t coming home and the police were going to be no use in a search. They’d lost all sympathy after discovering Clary’s place of residence had been transferred to her name and paid for up to a year, no longer under her mother’s name. They rationalized it, since Clary is a legal adult now, maybe Jocelyn thought it was time she lived on her own and moved out. Clary doubted it, still worried, but what else did she have the power to do? Then, she’d thrown herself into her art at full speed.

Somehow, even with only a vague memory of their first meeting, the creatures they’d encountered, the very reason they’d been running together severed from it, she feels she can trust him completely and tells him of this particular painting anyway, hoping to gain the same trust back to sate her wondering.

It doesn’t work.

He walks her home. She wonders how he knows where she lives and the nagging feeling of needing to fill in the blanks in her memories urges her to try again.

At the door, she presses, “Jace, _ please, _ give me something. Just a little scrap. What were we running from the day I first met you? I can’t remember. Were we friends? Were we mo-”

Jace cuts her off. “Okay, okay!” He sighs. “There was… an attacker. A few, actually. I just happened to be close when they started chasing you. I tried to keep you safe. You got hurt. That’s why you don’t remember things. You were injured. I just wanted to see how you were doing these days.”

He feels sick, lying to her like this, though, if he were to analyze it from a technical point of view, it’s not entirely untrue. What makes it so is more up to her interpretation of each part of the statement, her assumption that they’re all connected to the same event on the same day.

“Oh. That makes sense. Well…” Now a tad embarrassed, she looks down at their shoes, noticing the stark difference in cleanliness and wear-and-tear, “would you be interested in seeing me again soon?”

_ Is she asking me on a date? _

He tries to pull on a sociable smile, “How do you mean?”

And there’s that same blush he remembers, more so enhanced by the light, shimmery makeup than covered by it. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not seeing anyone. Even if you are, it can’t hurt to have more friends, can it? People like my art, but really, I don’t talk to a lot of people aside from arranging things these days. We could get coffee or something whenever we’re both free.”

She’s startled an inch back by a sudden flash of being in a hospital and hears herself crying. She’s moving quickly in the flash and seems to be walking upright, which confuses her. If she were the one hurt, wouldn’t she have been carried? Perhaps it wasn’t that serious or they somehow managed to be almost running with him assisting, but the feeling of anyone touching her isn’t in it.

Noticing the little jump, Jace feels another pang of guilt and hopes he hasn’t been caught in the lie already. He says before she can inquire, “Sure. That sounds nice. I’ll let you pick the time and day. I, uh, work from home, so my schedule is pretty flexible.”

It’s true for the time being. He hasn’t done much outside of the Institute recently upon Alec’s insistence. He’d tried to convince everyone he could go back to how he was before she’d entered their lives and it hadn’t worked out, each time they sent him out being successful in that the goals set were met, the tasks that needed finishing completed in record time, but it couldn’t go unnoticed that he’d started coming back with more scratches and bruises than before, having gotten less careful. Worried after being informed of this by Isabelle, Alec demanded he take time off from regular hunting until his mental state improved considerably. He wasn’t required to see a counsellor, but they talked more often and he became more familiar with things he could do inside the building, some he hadn’t even known _ anyone _ did as a routine part of their job.

What he hadn’t thought of was the possibility that she might want to see this “home.”

When he hesitates to answer the question about where they should meet, if it should at the shop itself or one of their places, maybe just the sidewalk outside either of them, she laughs at herself and apologizes. “I get it. You’re a private person. I can respect that. Java Jones?”

“Yes. Sounds like a plan.”

“Great!”

She hugs him without thinking and he pats her on the back uneasily, though still smiling. Then she goes inside and he hears the lock click.

The walk home is quiet, the only sound his own footsteps on crunchy leaves and dead grass. Eyes to the ground, he doesn’t notice he’s being watched. As he reaches for the door, he hears a throat clearing to his left. He identifies who is with ease.

“Simon,” he turns slowly to face the vampire, “were you waiting for me?”


End file.
